KEY TO HAPPINESS

What do we need to be HAPPY  - 

I googled this line , I got the answer we need to achieve our goals , get contentment in relationships , money matters and other success goals and self acceptance .

Leaving the term "self acceptance" , if we see the other terms , these all talk about some kind of success to be happy in life .

My question - what if we are not successful and fail in life for a long period of time , how we manage ourselves  .

During that long period of not being successful , how we manage ourselves to be happy or peaceful or come in terms with my undesirable situation .

Now another question - why we think , the situation is undesirable -how we react if we do not get that thing .We become  unhappy  .

To be HAPPY - we need to accept , the undesirable external  condition around us as it is .

We should not hamper our enthusiasm about life and its components if they are not working according to our wish or thoughts or whims .

What I think - to be happy one need's acceptance of his or her external surrounding , because one cannot change or control - other humans behavior , one cannot force other people to work or think according to their own wish .

So accept others as they are .

Try to think from the others perspective , why they are behaving in a certain manner , which you do not want .

May be there are some problems - try to fix that problem , rather than changing the person .

Talk with empathy , logic & with an open mind to fix the root problem , then blaming , repenting or being unhappy with that particular problem or situation .

Rather than changing a person or a situation , sometimes , one need to think - what is wrong with their own point of view or reaction .

Self analyse yourself .

For example - If you have an argument with your spouse , rather than blaming your spouse , analyse your own actions and reactions during the argument .

1.Is your voice tone is right 

2. do you consider your spouse's expectations towards you 

3.are you burdening your betterhalf with too much of duties or responsibilities 

4. doing your responsibilities in a right way 

5.do you over react or get over emotional when your spouse is telling your mistakes

6.do you accept  your mistakes in a rightway 

7.do you correct your mistakes 

Ask yourself questions - is your reactions , thoughts , expectations are appropriate .

Let go your unnecessary ego  pride & prejudice , sometimes unlearn to learn something new things.

We are not absolute beings ,all things are us are relative and subjective .

Let me give you another situation - 

May be a girl (working girl & earning her own living) in her late twenties living with her parents , and could not understand her parents reactions and thought process . Everyday picking fights since she could not do as she wants in the house and she cannot get her space and find her parents extremely conservative .

And extremely suffocated , living together.

We must understand our parents upbringing , value system and morals are way different than us .

We need to sit and talk , and explain each other's point of view about a certain event or work , keeping in mind other's sentiments , emotions and contribution towards  the event or work .

If we do not take care of emotions , sentiments or thoughts of our close ones , there will be only noise while arguments or a fight but no proper understanding of the situation or problem & the vicious cycle will continue , making situation worse and thus ending our happiness .

The arguments can be with colleagues , supervisors , management in our office also .

To solve the problems we have to be open minded , adaptable , logical , empathetic. 

I feel , to be Happy - we do not need to be successful but we need a positive approach   and  reasonable , logical mind who  knows how to think ,  what to think and why to think certain things in life . Analyse or priorities what to think and in which aspects. In which aspects  we should focus and which aspects of life we should give less important and why . What are the pros and cons .

Uplift and improve your mental health and capacity .

The key to happiness is in the perspective of how you see things or analyse things or problems or your day to day life or major events .

Your approach towards people and external environment is important , rather than success or establishment of life goals .

There are always rooms for improvement , skills , techniques to make your mind more capable .

MIND IS EVERYTHING . ALL IN THE MIND AND ALSO THE KEY TO HAPPINESS .